![]() But when they’re out of it, it’s like a fog of forgetfulness rolls in and they can’t remember any of the negative aspects of the relationship. ![]() While they’re in a bad situation, they fully recognize that things are crap. Stop Telling Yourself Stories About How Great Things Could Have Beenĭon’t play the “what could have been” game! Just think: if you saw a photo of him and another girl, how would you feel? Don’t take that chance. If you want to know how to move on, you have to stop caring (or at least pretend not to) about what he’s doing. Still, resist the urge to see what he’s been up to on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter or anywhere. This makes less of a loud statement (“you broke my heart and now I don’t wanna see your face in my feed!”) and if you ever do want to see what he’s up to…down the road after you’ve healed, you still have that ability. On Facebook, you have the option to unfollow him without unfriending him. You do the same after a relationship has ended, but you also ceremonially “unfriend” the guy on Facebook and other social channels to communicate your pain to him. It’s kinda funny how we are as a society these days: when you start a relationship, you announce it on Facebook, where it becomes “official” once you’ve changed your relationship status. I guarantee if you implement the 3-week No Contact Rule, you’ll have a much different perspective about things than you do right now. Sure, if you have kids together, you’re going to have to communicate about logistics, but even then, stick to business-only and avoid communicating about your relationship. I’m going to have to put my foot down here and insist on zero contact. You rationalize (with your very irrational post-breakup brain) that if he still loves you…and you still love him…why shouldn’t you be together? The problem with this is that having this attention makes it too easy to forget why you broke up. He still cares about you! That feels good, right? When you’re down, hearing from the man you loved (or still do) can be like a boost of serotonin. I know, this sounds easier than it is, especially if he’s reaching out to you, trying to get you back. The strategies you use in how to move on will be your unique recipe for finding happiness again, but here are some proven tips I’ve seen work with my clients (and myself!). The sooner you accept this, the sooner you figure out how to move on, and the sooner you can heal. There’s one thing I know to be true with breakups: the fact that it’s over is a sign it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve worked with thousands of men and women as a dating coach, and believe me: I’ve seen it all. ![]() And yet, he seems to have less trouble figuring out how to move on from you…so why are you finding this so hard? Whatever the reason the relationship ended, you’re wondering whether it was the right decision after all. Or the two of you simply argued all the time… You broke up with him because you caught him cheating… Whether he ended it because he wasn’t ready to commit… ![]() From where you stand, it seems plain impossible that you’d ever be able to get over him. After a big heartbreak, you’re struggling with how to move on when you still have strong feelings. ![]()
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